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Rainbow Shift Community has launched! Check it out here!
Welcome To
Discovering Self Communities!
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Sail Through Chaos
Healing doesn’t stop when therapy ends — and for some, it doesn’t start there at all. That’s why we created Sail Through Chaos, our new flagship program designed especially for queer and trans individuals as well as our allies who are ready for deep, responsive support.
This isn’t a once-a-week chat or a set of self-help videos — it’s a living, breathing space where you get daily interaction, personalized feedback, and a real community that sees you.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just done trying to figure it all out on your own, this is the support you’ve been looking for. With live coaching, guided exercises, structured tools, and an affirming community built around resilience and growth, Sail Through Chaos helps you stop spinning and start moving. Get started today — and discover what’s possible when support finally meets you where you are.
The details.
No fluff, just direct, clear answers
This is for you if:
You've done therapy. Maybe multiple therapists. You've read the books, listened to the podcasts, journaled, reflected, done the fucking work.
You KNOW what your patterns are. You understand your triggers. You can articulate your values.
And yet... you're still stuck in the same cycles of:
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Burnout and recovery, burnout and recovery
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Knowing what you need to do but not actually doing it
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Starting strong in programs then fading when life gets messy
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Managing okay until something spikes, then everything falls apart
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You're not looking for more insight. You're looking for someone to walk WITH you while you actually implement the changes. Someone who doesn't disappear after 12 weeks or between weekly appointments.
Specifically this works for people who are:
Rebuilding after burnout
You've crashed—maybe more than once. You're not going back to the grind that broke you, but you need support figuring out what comes next and how to build capacity without destroying yourself again.
Navigating identity or relationship shifts
Your life is in transition. Maybe your gender identity, your relationship structure, your career, your values—something fundamental is changing and you need support redefining your direction, roles, and boundaries.
Stuck between knowing and doing
You have the insight. You know what needs to change. But turning that knowing into consistent action? That's where you keep getting stuck. You need implementation support with steady feedback, not more information.
Done with programs that abandon you
You're exhausted from 6-week courses, 12-week programs, and weekly therapy appointments that leave massive gaps where you're supposed to "just figure it out." You need support that's actually there when chaos hits.
Ready to stop superficial progress
You're tired of showing up to sessions with curated updates and surface-level wins. You want space to be messy, stuck, frustrated, real—and get support that meets you there without judgment.
Working with Mark was soul-charging. He has an extraordinary talent for creating an emotionally safe environment in which vulnerability can blossom.
Betsy L
Calm, wise, caring and safe
Erica D.
... his true courage and compassion for not only the LGBTQ+ community, but for all those of us who are floundering in this world gone mad. His words always lift me up and give me a little more strength to keep fighting for justice.
Laura L.
Join Our Communities
Rainbow Shift Podcast and Community
This free community space is for the entire LGBTQ+ community with a special focus on transgender/gender-expansive individuals.
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Live support groups
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Break through isolation created by the toxic political environment
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A space to be yourself without judgement
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Find others in your area
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Learn ways of combatting the anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric
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Get connected to resources
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Our community's rights and lives are under attack. Discovering Self, LLC exists to be a beacon of hope. We are members of the queer community and have a mission to be a support to you.
Let's talk about money
There's no need to dance around the subject of money, and I hate when websites make you submit your email or sit through a sales call just to find out the price. You deserve better.
Here's what it costs:
$450/month
No contracts. Cancel anytime. Stay as long as you need.
Context: That's less than weekly therapy ($800+/month for 4 sessions where you manage alone in between) and WAY less than most coaching programs ($3,000-5,000 upfront for 12 weeks that end whether you're ready or not).
This is ongoing support that adapts to your life, not a ticking clock that ends when the "program" does.
Here's what you get
Monthly 1:1 coaching sessions (60 minutes, scheduled at your pace)
Daily coach access for questions, feedback, and support privately and securely
Montly group coaching sessions with other members navigating similar challenges
Private community access for connection, resources, and real-time support
Customized exercises and practices tailored to your goals, capacity, and what's actually happening in your life with feedback as you go
Ongoing accountability without the shame or pressure of traditional programs
This probably isn't right for you if:
You're in active crisis and need emergency mental health care (this is coaching, not therapy—if you're in crisis, please reach out to a therapist or crisis line)
You want someone to tell you exactly what to do (I'll guide, challenge, and support—but you're the captain of your ship)
You're looking for the cheapest option (this is an investment, and it should be—support that actually works costs money)
You want a structured 12-week program with clear start and end dates (this is ongoing and adaptive, which means it's messier and more personalized)
You're not ready to actually implement changes (insight without action just becomes more insight—this is about doing the work, not just talking about it)
Here's what happens when you join:
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Free Consultation (30 minutes)
We talk about what's happening right now, where you want to go, and whether this is a good fit. No sales pitch. No pressure. Just a real conversation about whether this support matches what you need.
Not sure if you're ready? Book it anyway. Sometimes talking it through out loud is what helps you decide.
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Get Started (Week 1)
If we're a fit, you're in. We start with a full coaching session where we:
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Map out what's actually happening vs. what you want to be different
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Identify the patterns keeping you stuck
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Create your initial personalized path forward (this will evolve and nothing is set in stone)
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Get you access to the private community and resources
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Ongoing Support (However Long You Need)
This isn't a 12-week program. This is support that moves with you.
Monthly 1:1 sessions where we go deep on what's happening, what's working, what's not, and what needs to shift.
Monthly group coaching where you learn from others' experiences, get multiple perspectives, and realize you're not the only one struggling with this stuff.
Daily community access where you can ask questions, share wins, process setbacks, and get feedback in real-time, not just once a week in your appointment.
Customized practices and exercises with feedback that fit your actual life, not some idealized version where you have unlimited time and energy.
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Evolve or Exit on Your Terms
When life changes, your support changes with you. Need to scale back for a month? Cool. Ready to go deeper? Let's do it.
When you're genuinely ready to continue without this level of support? You leave. No weird exit interviews or guilt trips. Just "this was great, I'm good now."
Support that stays doesn't mean support that traps you. It means support that's there for as long as YOU decide you need it.
Why this works when other things haven't:
It's ongoing, not time-limited
Programs that end in 12 weeks assume your life will cooperate with that timeline. Spoiler: it won't. This support stays until YOU'RE ready to move on.
It's responsive, not rigid
Your capacity changes. Your priorities shift. Crises happen. This adapts to your real life instead of forcing you to keep up with a predetermined curriculum.
It's daily access, not weekly appointments
Weekly therapy means you manage everything alone for 6 days and 23 hours. Here, you get support when you actually need it—including the random Tuesday when something triggers you.
It's community-backed, not isolated
Other people are navigating similar shit. You learn from their experiences. They learn from yours. You realize you're not uniquely broken—you're just human.
It's implemented, not just discussed
Talking about changes is easy. Actually making them when you're tired, triggered, or overwhelmed? That's where most support fails. This is about accountability while you're doing it.
It's for your real life, not your ideal life
Most programs are designed for people with stable schedules and consistent energy. This is designed for messy, real, complicated life where some weeks you've got it and some weeks you don't.
Frequently Asked Questions
How is this different from therapy?
Therapy focuses on healing past trauma and managing mental health symptoms. This assumes you've done that foundational work (or are doing it alongside) and focuses on implementation: turning your insights into actual changes in how you live.
Also, most therapy is weekly appointments with you managing everything alone in between. This is daily access to support and community.
What if I can't afford $450/month right now?
Then this probably isn't the right time, and that's okay. But don't make payment decisions based on fear—make them based on whether this is a genuine investment you can sustain. If you're stretching so hard financially that the payment itself becomes another stressor, that defeats the purpose.
If timing is the only issue (like you can afford it in 2 months but not right now), reach out and we'll talk. I'm not going to bullshit you with fake scarcity, but I also can't hold spots indefinitely.
How long do people usually stay?
Depends entirely on the person and what's happening in their life. Some people need 3-6 months of intensive support during a major transition. Others stay for a year or more because they want ongoing accountability and community. There's no "right" timeline, instead it's just what works for you.
Can I do this if I'm already in therapy?
Absolutely. Many people do both, therapy for mental health treatment and this for implementation and ongoing support. They serve different purposes and can work really well together.
What if I need to pause or cancel?
Life happens. If you need to pause for a month, we'll talk about it. If you need to cancel entirely, you can—no contracts, no penalties. Just let me know with reasonable notice so I can plan accordingly.
The whole point is support that adapts to your life, and sometimes that means taking a break.
Do you work with people outside the LGBTQ+ community?
Yes—allies are welcome. But you should know that my expertise and focus is supporting queer and trans folks navigating identity, transition, discrimination, and building lives that feel authentic in a world that often doesn't make space for us.
If you're an ally doing your own work around these issues, great. If you're looking for generic life coaching unrelated to LGBTQ+ experiences, this probably isn't the best fit.
What if we're not a good fit after I join?
Then we talk about it honestly. Maybe we adjust the approach. Maybe you need something different entirely. I'm not going to keep taking your money if this isn't actually helping you. We're both adults—we can have that conversation.
Support that doesn't end when shit gets real.
You don't need another program with an expiration date. You need someone who stays—through the chaos, the clarity, the setbacks, and the breakthroughs.
That's what Sail Through Chaos is.
Ready to stop spinning and start moving?
Schedule a free conversation.